Every couple is on a unique journey, filled with highs, lows, and valuable lessons. This guide focuses on practical advice aimed at strengthening the bond between a husband and wife, ensuring a fulfilling and lasting partnership. We strongly suggest that if you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, pursue Him! He needs to be your foundation first so that you can be the spouse you need to be for your beloved.
Embrace Mutual Respect
A good foundation of a holy marriage is mutual respect. This means honoring each other's opinions and feelings. When discussing issues, listen actively and validate your partner’s perspective, even if you disagree. A study found that couples who feel respected report an increase in relationship satisfaction. They are happier in their relationship with their spouse.
Regularly show appreciation for your partner’s contributions, both big and small. A simple thank you or compliment can profoundly impact how valued your partner feels. For example, if your spouse cooks dinner, express gratitude for their effort. Remember, respect is evident not just in grand gestures but also in everyday actions like making time for each other.
Prioritize Communication
This is a big one! Effective communication is critical in marriage. Create an environment where feelings, concerns, and dreams can be shared without fear of judgment. Allocate time each week for meaningful conversations. This might be a quiet moment on a weekend or a cozy evening at home after you put the kiddos to bed. Plan it and do it!
Ensure you use a loving tone and constructive words. Steer clear of blaming or criticizing, as this can lead to defensiveness. Instead, use "I" statements, such as, “I feel worried when…”. Also, avoid using statements like "You never..." or "You always...", just trust me.
This approach can reduce tension and foster a more productive dialogue. According to research, couples who communicate effectively are more likely to resolve disputes successfully.
Cultivate Shared Goals
A holy marriage thrives on shared goals. Discuss your dreams and aspirations—not just as individuals but also as a couple and for your family. Whether it’s planning for children, buying a home, or enhancing spiritual lives, having aligned objectives strengthens your partnership.
Regularly check in on these goals. (We recommend checking in once a week, if possible) Celebrate achievements together, whether it’s saving a certain amount of money or completing a project at home. Josh and I set a goal this year to save $15,000! And we love watching our savings grow! There are a lot of free printable savings tracker sheets online... go google it and find one that fits your personality as a couple! This shared journey builds commitment and helps you navigate life’s challenges as a united front and when you reach your goals, celebrate your wins with a date night!
Nurture Individuality
While shared goals are essential, encouraging individuality is just as vital. Each partner should pursue their own hobbies, interests, and friendships outside the marriage. Doing so not only brings excitement into the relationship but also prevents feelings of resentment. There will be times that the guy needs guy time, and the girl needs girl time. Make sure each other are getting out and fellowshipping with close friends outside of your marriage. (Absence makes the heart grow fonder!)
Set aside time for personal growth and encourage your spouse to do the same. If one partner enjoys painting while the other loves hiking, embrace these differences. That's what makes the world go round! When you come back together, you will have new experiences to discuss, enriching your relationship. A healthy marriage consists of two complete individuals supporting each other’s endeavors.
Address Conflicts with Grace
Conflicts are a normal aspect of any relationship, but the way you handle them can strengthen or weaken your bond. Approach conflicts calmly by focusing on the issue rather than personal attacks. (Don't worry, we have some experience in this area! ha-ha)
Work together to seek solutions and strive for compromise. Remember, it’s not about winning an argument but finding a middle ground that respects both partners' feelings. Sometimes it takes some time and thinking to find out who was right and who was wrong. Be the one to go to your spouse and apologize first. Don't let pride come between each other! After resolving a conflict, it’s crucial to reconnect—apologize if needed and reaffirm your love. (The best part of the fight is making up!)
Keep the Romance Alive
Romance should not fade after the initial excitement of marriage. Both partners play a role in keeping the spark alive. Surprise each other with small gestures of affection. You should be thinking about your spouse often! Leave love notes or plan regular date nights—studies show that couples who have date nights report an increase in relationship satisfaction.
Celebrate your love often, whether on anniversaries or spontaneous moments. This ongoing romance keeps the relationship vibrant and reinforces your emotional bond. (Know your spouse! If they like surprises, then surprise them! If they like to keep a strict schedule, then schedule a date night!)
Mutual Spiritual Growth
For many couples, a holy marriage includes a shared spiritual journey. Engage in activities that nurture your spiritual connection—attending services, reading scriptures, or doing community service as a team can enhance your bond. Nothing will draw you closer to each other like drawing closer to the Lord. As each of you get closer to God, you both are heading in the same direction and eventually you will be on the exact same path. That's what God desires for you; to become one flesh, with one mind, a unified "body"!
Discuss your personal journey, where you are with God and where you want to get to! Help each other grow closer to Christ! Encourage each other to keep pursuing Jesus!
Strengthening Your Bond
Nurturing a holy marriage requires continuous commitment from both partners. By embracing mutual respect, prioritizing communication, cultivating shared goals, nurturing individuality, addressing conflicts with grace, keeping the romance alive, and engaging in mutual spiritual growth, you build a strong foundation for a fulfilling life together.
While challenges may arise, the joy of nurturing your bond makes it all worthwhile. Remember, every step you take together, no matter how small, contributes to your shared story. Cherish each moment and continue to grow together, ensuring that your marriage remains a blessed partnership full of love and joy.
May God give you a blessed and holy marriage as you try to live your lives and allow your marriage to be a testimony of His love and grace!
~ Josh & Shawna
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