5 Ways to help with date night struggles.
Have you ever come face to face with having to plan a date night? I hope, if you are married that you definitely have had to plan a date night! It is super important to spend one on one time with your spouse! That time together can bring you closer to each other than you have ever been.
1. Get to Know Your Spouse!
First of all, to really enjoy your date nights, you need to know what your spouse actually enjoys doing. Here is a really good place to start out. Plan a "Get to know you" date. This can take place anywhere you want it to. On the backyard patio, at the kitchen table, or even out at a restaurant that you both like to eat at. (NOTE: If you are doing this date at home, order some take out or a pizza to be delivered so you can really focus on each other. OR if you both enjoy cooking, cook your favorite meal together.) Print out a Love Language quiz for each of you and while waiting for your food or eating your food, start working on your quiz. With this quiz there are no wrong answers, you are simply answering what YOU would like the best. At the end of the test, tally up all the points and see what Love Language you and spouse speak. There are 5 languages: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and Words of Affirmation.
Taking this test allows you to truly see what your spouse enjoys and things that don't really have an effect on them. This is truly the best way to know how to plan a date night for your spouse. (I've linked the quiz below for easier access!)
2. We don't have any money!
Don't worry! You are not alone! A lot of couples don't have extra money to spend on leisurely date nights because they have a strict budget and really all of the money that comes in, only covers the bills and food. We totally understand where you are coming from! We currently have credit card debt that we are trying to pay off, on top of our Vehicle payment, with a large mortgage payment as well. We don't have a lot of income and we have a larger sized family with 5 kiddos. We know that once we have all of our debt paid off, that will free up a huge chunk of money for us to be able to go OUT on a date. We have recently had a lot of at-home date nights. Even though I don't enjoy those as much because I am always at home (stay-at-home-mom), the fact that we are getting to spend time alone means a lot to me. Just a few days ago, Josh took a day off of work, which kills me because I know we need that income, but we spent the whole day together. We made our time together intentional, and we put away all distractions and really focused on each other. It didn't cost us anything except losing a day's pay, but it was super worth it because we grew really close on that day. What made it so special is that we had a little box of conversation starters from a couples retreat we had been to and as we began reading the questions and answering them, we began to connect emotionally and physically. You don't need a bunch of money to make your time together special. You can really draw closer to each other by having a genuine conversation. (Here are the exact cards we used that day! You will love them!)
3. We don't have a babysitter!
Been there too! Sometimes it's really hard to find a babysitter and especially one that you can 100% trust to take care of your kids. We run into this problem quite often. Most of the families that we know, have a bunch of children like we do, and we feel bad for asking them to watch even more kids, while we go out and have a good time. Recently, I read somewhere of a good way to solve this dilemma... trade babysitting for date nights. If they watch your kids for you on date night, offer up the same for them. Watch their kids for them to go out and have a good time. Don't wait for them to ask because chances are, they feel the same way you do about asking. Offer it up and make it easier on them to say YES! Another way to really get your babysitter on board again is to offer to pay them for taking care of the kids. You could look up the going rate for a babysitter and plan to pay that amount for their service to you. I, for one, would not turn down that extra cash! If push comes to shove, put the kids to bed early and make your dining room into a date night restaurant. Order out or cook your meal together and sit down to enjoy it together.
4. Don't Just Go Eat Somewhere.
Your spouse is expecting to do something memorable, so make it a memorable time! You don't have to go way overboard but if you know what will speak their love language, you can make the date so much better than if you just went out to eat. Based on what love language they speak, do something that you know they would enjoy doing. If it's quality time, go to a pottery shop and make your own coffee mugs or go to a paint studio and paint a canvas together. If your spouse likes adventure, go to a zipline and feel the thrill of adventure together. If your spouse is an acts of service type of person, have a cleaner come and clean the house while you are away or for the guys get someone to detail their vehicle while your eating. Simple things like this can go a long way in your marriage!
Trust me! (Click the search bar just below to be directed to google so you can search for different places to visit near you!)
5. My spouse has to work late.
Hey! Don't worry about it! I know you were looking forward to that date night but let's turn this lemon into lemonade and drink it on our date! Flip the switch and change the gears! We are now planning this date night for when babe gets home! Hire the kids to comb through the entire house and clean everything in sight! You go to your room and make it into a romantic getaway. Clean up those clothes off the floor and chair, fluff your pillows and make the bed, pull out those fake rose petals or run to the store and grab some (if your feeling like you want some extra brownie points, get some real rose petals). Watch the clock though! you don't want babe to run in on your surprise until you are ready. Feed the kids and send them to their room early. Right before babe gets there, start running a hot bath for you to soak in together or pick out some lingerie and wait for them to walk through the bedroom door. Have some snacks ready to eat on, while you're hanging out in that hot bath or invite them to take a shower with you, they are going to want to clean up anyways so why not help them get cleaned up! Having to work late is stressful sometimes so offer a body massage to help release that built up tension! There's nothing like love to really loosen up those stiff muscles!
If you are planning way ahead, you can order some from Amazon!!
(This is an affiliate link which we may earn income from if you purchase this item using our link!) :)
(To purchase the rose petals, just click on the picture to the right to be redirected to Amazon's website. This is an affiliate link in which we may earn income if you choose to purchase this product by clicking on the picture.)
If any of these ideas helped your marriage in some way, we would love to know! Please send us a message below and subscribe to our blog so you can be notified when we upload new content!
XOXO,
Josh and Shawna
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